Smile Princess is...

idk what i am feeling lately. it's a bittersweet feeling. i have great friends i guess but there is only drama lately. i dont get it. we are starting our senior year and this is our last year together. but all anyone wants to do is fight and cause drama. oh well. wutever. not my problem right!

so today i started my senior year...my schedule is a little funky but it is sumthin i can deal with. i will probably aid for a teacher i love during 5th period cuz i am dropping psychology. it's not what i expected. it's a ghetto class. oh well. i have production choir. i am really nervous. i can't really sing and i dont want to sing in front of ppl. idk. it's not fair. everything else is a kick back class. oh n i dont have to do senior projects! i will talk more about senior year soon. =)

Smile Princess is frowning...?

OK SO YEA I'M FROWNING. SO WUT?!?!? TODAY STARTED OFF AS A REALLY GOOD DAY. I WAS HAPPY CUZ I HAD LINK CREW TODAY AND IT WOULD BE FUN, I GET TO C FRIENDS N PLAY GAMES. I HAD TO WAKE UP AT 7 IN THE FREAKING MORNING WHICH WAS NOT A GOOD THING!!! YOU KNOW HOW LAZY I AM. OK SO I WOKE UP DID MY HAIR, GOT DRESSED AND HEADED OFF TO SCHOOL. AMY N ROCHELLE ARE ALREADY THERE SO WE ARE HANGING OUT. APRIL GETS THERE HELLA LATE N ITS STARTING OFF A FUN DAY. SO WE PLAYED THE GAMES WE PLAYED ON MAY PLAY DAY AND WE DID A FEW OTHER THINGS. WE GOT THROUGH EVERYTHING REALLY EARLY AND GOT TO GO HOME EARLY. I HAD TO WALK. THAT IS WHERE MY DAY STARTED GETTING BAD. I HATE WALKING HOME ALONE CUZ THEN ALL THOSE PERVERTED PEOPLE START BUGGING ME. NOT FUN!!!! SO I GOT HOME AND I WAS SO FREAKING TIRED. I TOOK A NAP. I LOVE TAKING NAPS. I'M A KID. HEHE =) SO I WAKE UP AND IT IS FREAKING HOT IN MY ROOM! SO IT GETS WORSE THERE RIGHT. I GO OUT TO GET A DRINK; WELL A CUP WITH ICE CUZ I HAVE DRINKS IN MY ROOM. SO I GO OUT N THAT STUPID LIL BITCH THAT LIVES WITH ME PISSES ME THE HELL OFF! I WILL NOT GO INTO DETAILS. THE SHIT HE DOES, DOES NOT BELONG ONLINE. SO I ASK HIM IF HE IS EVER JUST GOING TO BE NICE TO ME AND HE STARTS MOUTHING OFF LIKES HE'S SUCH A SMART ASS. WELL HE CAN GO SCREW HIMSELF. I DONT GIVE A FUCH IF HE IS FAMZ OR ANYTHING. HE WILL FREAKING REGRET HURTING ME LIKE THIS. ONCE EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT HE DOES TO ME THEN THEY ARE NOT ONLY GONNA BEAT HIS ASS N CRIPPLE HIM THE FAMZ IS GON SEND HIM BACK HOME: TO THE PHILIPPINES. SO SCREW HIM! I HATE HIM! I HAVE NEVER HATED FAMILY LIKE THIS BUT NOW I DO! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHO HE IS I HATE HIM AND HE WILL REGRET MAKING ME CRY TODAY! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH CUZ HE'S FAMILY BUT HE'S GONNA BE A BITCH LIKE THAT. HELL NO. SO NOW, I DON'T CARE. I HATE HIM WITH A PASSION!


LINK CREW!!!!!

SENIORS CLASS OF 2009!!!

smile princess

OK SO IT'S BEEN A WHILE. COULDN'T GO ON CUZ MY COMP WAS BEING FUNKY. SO A LOT HAS CHANGED IN ME. I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON FROM BEFORE. MY MIND IS GONE NOW. MY EMOTIONS ARE SHIT. MY DREAMS ARE CRAP. HAHA. FUNNY RYT. NOT REALLY. THERE'S A LOT GOING ON. I SPENT A FEW HOURS YESTERDAY CRYING OVER CRAP I DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER AND NOW I AM OVER IT. I HAVE TO LEARN FROM EVERYTHING. I HAVE TO LEARN NOT ONLY FROM MY MISTAKES BUT FROM THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS AS WELL. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO GET BETTER AT WHAT I DO. I HAVE DECIDED THAT NO ONE IN THIS WORLD IS WORTH IT. NO ONE. I NO LONGER WANT TO LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN PEOPLE CUZ PEOPLE ARE NOT GOOD. PEOPLE SUCK. PEOPLE ARE ALL INSANE AND I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT. NEXT YEAR, MY SENIOR YEAR, I WILL FORGET ABOUT ALL TIES THAT I HAVE WITH PEOPLE. I WILL STILL KICK IT AND TRY TO ACT THE SAME BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE HURT ANYMORE. NO BODY KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ME RIGHT NOW. THERE IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE LATELY FOR ME TO BE THE BEST. MY WHOLE FAMILY IS TELLING ME THAT I AM THEIR ONLY HOPE FOR A BETTER LIFE. I DOUBT THAT IS REALLY TRUE THOUGH CUZ I HAVE CUZINS WHO ARE DOING BETTER THAN ME AND WHO ARE MORE ABLE TO HELP. I'M JUST A KID AFTER ALL. BUT IT'S WHAT THEY BELIEVE. I HAVE ALWAYS PUSHED MYSELF TO BE BETTER AND DO EVERYTHING PERFECTLY BUT YOU KNOW WHAT...ITS NOT WORTH IT. MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE FAKE. THEY ACT LIKE THEY ARE FRIENDS BUT I KNOW WHAT IS UP. I'M SO TIRED OF BEING USED AND I'M TIRED OF BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED. I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT I AM MEANT TO DO SOMETHING MORE WITH MY LIFE AND YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S TIME THAT I SHOWED EVERYONE THAT I DON'T NEED PEOPLE TO HELP ME AND I WONT HELP ANYONE ELSE. I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING THAT I CAN. MY FRIEND THAT I HAVE KNOWN FOREVER IS MOVING AND HE HASN'T EVEN TOLD ME. HE HASN'T EVEN CALLED ME SINCE MY B-DAY SO FUCK HIM. MY BEST FRIEND WHOM I HAVE KNOWN FOREVER AS WELL IS A LYING CRAPPY FRIEND. MY BROTHER HAS MOVED TO SD AND I MISS HIM BUT HE LEFT ME ALL ALONE WHEN HE KNOWS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. MY NEW FRIEND SAYS SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND THAT SHE IS MY SISTER BUT HELL. SHE DON'T TALK TO ME OR HANG OUT WITH ME SINCE MY OTHER FRIENDS B-DAY. SHE SAID THAT WE ARE SWORN SISTERS BUT SHE CHOOSES WORK AND MEETINGS OVER ME. SHE CAN'T EVEN SEE WHAT MY REAL PROBLEMS ARE. SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO ON HERE ANYMORE TO POST A BLOG AND TALK WITH ME SO FUCK HER TOO. SO I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH ANYONE AT THE MOMENT. EVERY ONE SUX! I DON'T CARE WHO HAS WHAT PROBLEMS. LAST TIME I CHECKED THIS WORLD IS FOR PEOPLE WHO EITHER WIN OR LOSE. I'M NOT LOSING IT. NOT ANYMORE. I AM NOT THE SAME NICE PERSON I ALWAYS AM ANYMORE. I DON'T CARE WHO GETS HURT OR WHO CRIES. MY MIND IS MENTALLY GONE. I FELL HATRED AND I AM BEING FORCED TO SNAP. PEOPLE KEEP PUSHING MY BUTTONS NOT KNOWIN THAT WHEN THEY PUSH ENOUGH I'M GOING TO SHOVE BACK. I'M GOING TO FIGHT BACK AND I'M NOT JUST GOING TO PUSH BUT I WILL ATTACK BACK. I HAVE GOOD FOR NOTHING FRIENDS. I WILL LEAVE THIS PLACE. AFTER MY SENIOR YEAR I WILL LEAVE THIS HELL THAT I HAVE CALLED HOME FOR SO LONG AND I WILL GO TO UCI. I WILL BETTER MYSELF. I WILL GO TO UCI AND FORGET EVERYONE HERE. I WILL FORGET ALL MY FAKE FRIENDS. I DON'T REALLY CARE FOR THEM. THEY ARE EXPENDABLE. I REALLY COULD CARE LESS. I WILL WALK AWAY FROM THIS LIFE AND I WONT EVEN LOOK BACK. I WILL JUST GO TO COLLEGE AND FIND NEW, REAL FRIENDS AND I WONT LOOK BACK AT THESE FAKE PEOPLE. I KNOW THAT PPL IN HS ARE GAY BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT EVERONE IN HS IS THERE TO KILL YOU SLOWLY. CUZ THAT IS HOW I FEEL. I AM DYING SLOWLY RIGHT NOW BUT I WONT GIVE IN. I FELL IN LOVE AND I KEPT IT A SECRET. IT WON'T BE A SECRET FOR LONG. I TRUSTED PEOPLE AND THEY STABBED ME IN THE BACK. I WILL MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE CAN HURT ME ANYMORE. I LOVED MY FRIENDS WITH ALL MY HEART AND THEY RIPPED IT OUT AND HURT ME. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL. MAYBE I'M BEING OA RIGHT NOW BUT I DON'T CARE. THIS ANGER AND HATRED ARE REALLY PUSHING ME. TODAY I AM ACTUALLY LEAVING WEST COVINA AND GOING TO LONG BEACH. DON'T KNOW WHEN I WILL COME BACK. I DONT REALLY WANT TO. HERE ARE A FEW QUOTES....:

~My glass isn't half empty, or half full,.... there's just nothing there
~TRUStN0 0NE BECAUSE tHEY AlWAYS END UP BEtRAYiNG Y0U.
~Have you ever felt alone in the middle of a million people?
~iM StARtiNG t0 tHANk tHE PE0PlE WH0 BEtRAYED ME BECAUSE itS MADE ME tHE PERS0N i AM t0DAY. tRUStiNG N0 0NE D0ESNt REAllY MEAN N0t EXPRESSiNG Y0UR FEEliNG it 0NlY MEANS Y0U lEARN H0W t0 kEEP tHEM iN.
~Sometimes when I'm alone..when no one is watching I cry and scream my lungs out saying I still love Him...
~All I really want is for you to look at me, really look at me and see me, and love me for who I am. that's all I want
~(A week after she dumped him)
Him: What have i ever done that hurt you so much?
Her: Nothing. Him: It can't be nothing. Why are you so pissed off at me then.
Her: Because you did nothing to fight back
~I wish I could rip your heart out so maybe then you would feel how much pain you caused me
~Its funny you broke my heart you made me bleed you put me through hell and im in pain but i still love you
~I've always been there for you So why aren't you here for me? I'm still waiting for someone to show To come and save me So why am I the one... Left alone
~If this is what my best friend did to me i wonder what my enemies would do to me
~Is it too much to ask for just one thing to go right?
~It's my fault that no one knows how I truely feel But that doesn't make It hurt any less
~Yo i know this kid who's goin through a lot these past few days and i dont know how he manages to make it through the rain, cuz one by one the drop hits him, with things on his mind, nobody listens, he smiles to cover up frustrations so nobody really knows exactly what he's struggling with, nobody really knows exactly what troubles him, his problems keep on escelating so he's running from problems his mind is mentally gone don't know when it's coming home --lil crazed