Smile Princess: REMINISCING/TIRED

It's hard to look back at everything that has passed by. The years that I spent on this earth, the years to come. It's hard to think right now. I keep looking back at all the good times. At all the happy moments with him. But that is over now. He don't love me no more. He don't feel the same. So why am I still stuck in the past. Why am I still stuck in the memory he left behind. Why is it that memories hold such a meaning for me. Why do I fool myself into thinking things can go back to the way they were.
I am tired of reminiscing. I am tired of looking back. Because everytime I look back the past makes my future seem bland. It feels as if I have used up all my happy moments in life and all that is left for me is misery. MAYBE I AM JUST OVERTHINKING THINGS.
But I'm tired of feeling like I am overthinking things cause I am not.

I am tired of feeling unwanted.
I am tired of the negativity.
I am tired of feeling abandoned.
I am tired of feeling unloved.
I am tired of feeling ugly.
I am tired of feeling used.
I am tired of being lied to.
I am tired of pretending.
I am tired of being forgotten.
I am tired of being the only one feeling in this relationship.
I am tired of feeling stupid.
I am tired of feeling sad.
I am tired of comparing my life to the past because the present is just not good enough.
I am tired of second guessing things.
I am tired of being the only one to care.
I am tired of this one sided relationship.
I am tired of this one sided love.
I am tired of feeling alone.
I am tired of texting back to an unfeeling person.
I am tired of lying to myself that things are ok.
I am tired of crying myself to sleep.
I am tired of putting on my mask to please others.
I am tired of feeling inadequate.
I am tired of feeling bothered.
I am tired of feeling worthless.
I am tired of feeling like I am cumbersome.
But most of all I am tired of feeling tired.