Smile Princess: HELPLESS -_-

Empty Frames- Ne-Yo

Hmmm

I can feel the raindrops
slowly falling and
they calling for
they keep calling for
my knight in shining armour
come and save me
cause im drowning in pain
ive been hurt by his mistakes
so come and take me away

i put him first
i thought he'd stay
but he couldn't weather the storm
so he left me the rain

over time, pictures fade
all thats left are these empty frames
sleepless nights, and stormy days
i've got proof that people change
and all thats left are these empty frames
all thats left are these empty...

can you hear these teardrops
in my pillow? they keep falling cause
i kept falling for your dozen thorny roses
now im bleeding
and im lonely again

now im hurt
it's my mistake
i should have known right away
i put him first
i thought he'd stay
but he couldn't weather the storm
so he left me the rain

over time, pictures fade
all thats left are these empty frames
sleepless nights, and stormy days
i've got proof that people change
long after the smiles all fade away
all this endless pain
all this empty space

sleepless nights, and stormy days
i've got proof that people change
over time, pictures fade
and all thats left are these empty frames

over time, pictures fade
all thats left are these empty frames
sleepless nights, and stormy days
all thats left are these empty...

over time, pictures fade
and all thats left are these empty frames
sleepless nights, and stormy days
i've got proof that people change

all thats left are these empty frames
all thats left are these empty frames



A really good song that represents a lot in me right now. I think it's a good song sung in a perspective of things don't always go right and people change. Some people can't handle the downs in a loved one's life and so they leave. I have that issue right now. Specially with that one friend from far away (he lives in a place with a stores name). I never gave him a nickname for this thingy. I guess its cause he puts no importance in me so i try not to put importance on him. His nickname shall be....ummm....i was thinking another rendition of his name but idk. Glevin? sounds weird. oh well. so the story: I was there when he was all emo and crying on the phone. I was there to talk to him at all hours of the night. Because of him my heart was broken. Because of him i went through a lot of pain. But now it's like our friendship does not matter anymore. Now that i need someon to talk to at funky hours of the night and now taht i need a shoulder to lean on suddenly he is too busy. I wasn't too busy before but i should have realized that all people are like him. People talk to you so much when they need a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to about their problems. But when you have a problem suddenly the person who you have been comforting is too busy. To busy to fix the relationship, the friendship, to busy to fix things because he lies to himself saying that there is nothing wrong. BUT THERE IS!!!

I am the one saying me and him have a problem in our relationship, he is the one proving that we do. Funny right. Not really. But it is ironic that even from hundreds of miles away he is just like the people surrounding me. ^^ Even after all the promises, the important conversations, the secrets i have only told him about my issues, the things he has told me. It's that easy to forget a person like me. NO!

That CANNOT be true. Because if it were so easy to forget me then a lot of people would easily forget me. Like my Kuya R. And Ate A. Ate R. And Ice Prince. They would all have forgotten about me. And they haven't Ice Prince txts me all the time and all my "siblings" are always hanging out with me and telling me how much they love me.

But its not the same as Glevin...haha weird nickname. It will due until i figure out whether he is a protagonist or an antagonist...but i am leaning towards d latter. Anyway, it's not the same with him because i have told him things that i have told no one. Like my issues with that one dude in my place. Like why i am so negative. Like why i am so me. I thought that through all those nights that we talked for hours he would get me better but guess not. ^^ wateva. I am not important to him thus he is not important to me. I am helpless to this relationship.

So anyway. I have actually had a good day today. There was only the interview to deal with. It was easy. Most adults adore me so it's not a problem. Then I went to my choir tech rehersal because our concert is on Wednesday and Thursday. Imma get d Ninja or Kat to record my solo. I will be singing On My Own from Les Miserable. Lea Salonga sang that song so i have to do it justice, for my Filipina Pryd!

I did not go to Badminton Practice because of my interviews and the rehersal. Tomorrow i will not go as well becuase i have to deal with dress rehersals again. Then on Wednesday we have a game against Bassett. I have to run from the game to the show. On thursday it will be easy. I just get ready and do the show then go home. But thursday is the day that everyone i love will be watching. ^^ I have to do good so that they will be proud of me. I am so ready.

I have done my HW. I have checked my myspace. I have watched Tayong Dalawa and loved every minute of it. I have been singing for hours and am finally gonna rest my voice. I actually came on to write about a story we read in class. So here goes my little synopsis of it:

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
So the story starts off witha scene that deals with a boat and a heavy storm. The commander of the ship is supposed to get the boat and the plane on the boat, plus all the people on the ship through it. Suddently Mitty is introduced as a man who is driving his car and is being nagged by his wife to slow down because he is drivin at 50mph.

Most of the story goes on like this. Mitty has a dull, average, mundane life. He is old, weak and is controlled by his mother-like wife. Through one dull average day the most mundane things trigger insane fantasies. Things that portray Mitty as the hero, rogue, dare-devil, non-chalante type guy. And that is the part i wanted to talk about. How people are often told to stop being such a Mitty (one who day dreams too much or fantasizes too much). I think i am guilty of being a Walter Mitty. During class when i am not paying attention i imagine so many great things for myself, being the hero of my fantasies, being the best singer ever, being the smartest. It's like a double life. Because I only have one Fantasy that i live on a daily basis. It's something that re-occurs a lot.

In my head i am adopted but i know who my real family is. I have great brother's and sisters who love me and care for me. I have a twin, if he were a girl we would look pretty identical. My real family is very talented, they sing, dance, play instruments and they are all smart and mature. I have a real group of friends who love to sing and create music. They are loyal and they understand the things that i have gone through and seen in life. They are patient with me and my issues becuase they know that for someone so young i have suffered a lot. I have suffered more than a normal 17 year old girl should suffer. Everday me and my fantasy world live out my life in a different way. Instead of sitting with my reality friends i sit with my fantasy friends. Instead of singing with the school choir i am in my little world in a friends studio singing with them.

That is pretty much my fantasy. The perfect family, the perfect friends, the perfect me. But in reality my world is not that amazing, I have a broken family, I have messed up friends (i.e Glevin, Crazy, Diva) and i am so far from perfect it's pathetic. It's different to live my life in reality. I wish a fairy god-mother would appear and grant me one wish. I would wish i could relly live out my fantasy world. I wish my fantasy world were reality instead of the reality i live in. Because in truth, fantasy is better than reality. Dreams are better than the real world. And that is why i am so damn helpless to the world around me. Because reality leaves you vulnerable, weak and helpless.